Nulliparity & Joy

PS: This is my 200th blog post! Thanks for being a part of Pie-Heaven!

Some months ago, I created a bumper sticker based on an aside from pre-med pal Almost-Dr. Stephanie. She was describing "beginning our lives together as nonsexual domestic partners," which is our Life Plan B, so to speak.

She went on to describe our gaggle of corgis that we will walk each morning, a cute little cottage, with wee cars in the driveway (hers a blue Prius, mine a Mini-Cooper), adorned with matching bumper stickers that say, "Nulliparous & LOVIN' IT!"

Nulliparity refers to a woman's status of having delivered zero babies. Similarly, if she has delivered one baby, she's primiparous. If she's delivered more than that, she's multiparous. If she has delivered at least 5 babies, she's casually referred to in the OB profession as "a grand multip."

Anyway, I was enchanted by this idea and I found Zazzle, a site that would let me design and print on-demand a bumper sticker. So I made this big pink monstrosity with cursive fonts and a shitty free clip-art image of a female silhouette leaping with joy. I printed a few of them for myself and stephanie as well as some friends. It went over well.

When I returned for Round 2 at Albany OB/GYN, my preceptor's nurse walked past my car and noticed the bumper sticker. She told her fellow nurses, who told the doctors and soon the place was abuzz. My preceptor and her nurse both wanted a sticker. So I went back to Zazzle to print a few and I was met with a surprise.

When I initially designed this thing, I thought it was a product that was contained within my own account. Apparently not. There were over 400 reviews for this sticker, with an average rating of 4 stars! And I haven't received a dime, having unwittingly clicked away my rights somewhere.

Help me, I'm pooooorrrrr.