Surviving Cancer & Surviving Med School: NOT the Same

Because I tend to be one of those people who can spiral out of control with "what if" scenarios, I've developed a survival mantra, which has been thus far, "Thousands of people before me have done [medical school]. So can I." Now that my first non-anatomy course has begun, I find myself screaming internally, "HOW have thousands of people before me DONE THIS???"

My school has this department called the LEAD office. It's the place you go when you need to sign up for a tutor, or you want to be a tutor, or if you need help with test taking strategies or stress management and whatnot. In light of recent schedules in preparation for our first biochem/molecular bio/physio/embryo exam, we have come to the conclusion that the LEAD office should have in their employ a full-time vampire. That students, when all other study methods FAIL, should have the option of becoming an undead so they don't have to sleep anymore. You know. An eternity of bloodsucking in exchange for an "A" average.

I will admit that I find myself fantasizing about would-be increased efficiency if I didn't have to sleep or eat.

Back to reality: Today marks my official 18th Cancerversary (thank you to Matt for coining the term). The 18th anniversary is the "porcelain" anniversary, which I find completely apropos, since I think the only people who may have spent more time with their head in a toilet are dogs and women with 5 or more children.

I can't believe it's been that long.

Back in those days, Doernbecher Children's Hospital consisted mostly of section A of the 14th floor, with overflow going to the 8th floor. If you were super lucky, you'd get assigned to a room with 4 other kids, their parents, siblings and visitors (and only 1 TV). There was 1 bathtub and 1 shower for the entire ward. None of the rooms had their own toilets--a vast departure compared to the 10+ floor Doernbecher that opened in 1997 where all rooms have their own toilets (and shower, I think), and many are private rooms.

While we're on the topic, I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK about The Cancer. Cancer cells are so dumb (or maybe our perspective is awry and they're actually quite clever...). They're the "white trash" portion of your cell population: they consume everything by piggybacking off of other cells' hard work, they park their cars on other tissues' lawns, and they reproduce like hell. In fact, they're so intent on reproducing and sticking their noses in where they don't belong (without contributing anything useful to the greater good I might add) that they don't even consider the consequences of their actions--namely killing off their host. Then, when their host starts to die, they're all confused and very put out. And also dead themselves. Idiots.

Tuesday rant: I spend 4 hours each night studying the material covered in lecture lecture that day. I regularly spend full days on weekends reviewing said material. I have a tutor. I have a study group. In preparation for Monday's exam, I spent all of my Friday night, 13 hours of my Saturday, and about 8 hours Sunday studying nonstop. Complete saturation. Sat the exam Monday morning and felt like maybe I'd walk with a mid-80s score (which I'm totally fine with). FAIL. Got a 75. Pathetic. Major brow-crinkling irritation ensued.

Now the all important question is: how exactly am I supposed to change my study methods when I'm ALREADY doing everything they've told me to do to be successful in the class?

Christmas break can't come too soon.

Oh, wait...maybe it can.