Big Sexy Virulence

Last Saturday was the big pink cake birthday party, as you Constant Readers will recall. Well, big cake was Fabulous, and I had to look Fabulous, too, but ran into a Fabulous Brick Wall. It would seem that the hubbs skipped town with my ONLY bottle of Big Sexy Hair Root-Lifter Plus. Be aware that this is a KEY component to my Fabulous Procedure. I didn't find this out until post-shower, standing there dripping water all over the floor, groping for a bottle that wasn't there. Fingers still wet, I speed dialed Matt who was cheerfully on his way to Phoenix with a pal to hang with friends at the Mariners Fantasy Camp for the weekend. I explained to him that Big Sexy Hair is for MY hair, not his short ass does-he-or-doesn't-he-have-product-in-it pin-curl hair.

I proceeded to try and make up for a lack of BSHRLP by adding extra hair spray. This transformed me into a Kinda Fabulous Fire Hazard with the side effect of a little greasiness. Ew. 

So let's rephrase that, shall we? "...the hubbs skipped town..." becomes "the soon-to-be-mysteriously-disappeared hubbs skipped town..."

BSHRLP boundaries are now well established.

We have now entered a course called IDIT (Introduction to Disease, Immunity and Therapy), a vast portion of which involves memorizing lots of cooties, what makes them different from each other, and what drugs to kill 'em with (oy). For those of you who are not in-tune with the finer points of pathogenic bugs, there are two major classes: Gram Positive and Gram Negative, which refer to whether or not the bacteria dyes purple according to application of the Gram stain. Each class has its own special characterisitics which I won't go into here, but the bottom line is that our natural immunity is reasonably well-adapted to dealing with Gram Positives. While we have Gram Negative strategies, too, they're a whole different ball of wax. Fellow ISACer and 2010 UAAO President (for whom I am Madame Secretary) Casey Pyle put it best:

"Gram Negative bacteria are a total bitch. [The faculty] totally underplayed that! It's like, 'do you want to get attacked by a tank with 3 feet of armor, or do you want to get attacked by a tank with (thoughtful pause here) weapons from the future?!'"

Well met, Almost-Dr. Pyle.

Lastly, in the land of decided Political Incorrectness, I must regale the story of Karoon (sic?). Karoon is also an ISACer. This is at least his second career. I believe he is the oldest in our class at ~52 years old. He is from Iran, and when you look at him, he has the appearance and demeanor of a delightful, content yogi guru. Karoon never gets mad. Karoon is always the guy that can quietly bring peace to a situation. He never swears, or even says anything bad about anyone. He doesn't even eat meat! Yet, after a more-than-tense encounter with Thuy's aggravating (to be polite about it) landlord, even he'd had enough and was overheard muttering, "I was about to fly in on Jihad Airlines and take her out."

Jihad Airlines. If Homeland Security has secretly subscribed to Pie-Heaven, I'm thinking I and my coterie are about to be treated to a stern knock on our doors. But that was just too funny NOT to be on the interwebs.