While I'm not actually looking forward to the weather (it's pretty easy to go for a walk or a jog when it's always sunny outside), I'm very much looking forward to being in a place where stuff just makes sense. And there's good food. And it's cheap to live. And it's safe to breathe the air. And it's OK to drink the water.
Por ejemplo (at Pie-Heaven we embrace all languages): I was driving to my spin class last week and made the mistake of trying to get on the 210 at about 5pm. Idiot. As we were all inching our way down the freeway, one pickup decides it's going to veer off on the right hand shoulder and go screaming down to the next exit. Another car sees this happening, and pokes its nose out into said shoulder to put a stop to it, nearly resulting in a collision, and definitely producing much squealing of tires and gnashing of teeth. Both vehicles return to the right hand lane. We continue on like this for about another 1/2 mile or so, and just when we're getting up to a nifty cruising speed of 25 or so, and I'm thinking I'll make it to LA Fitness in time to get a bike at the front of the room, the whole works comes to a screeching halt. Why? Because the original screw-all-you-Imma-drive-on-the-shoulder-now car #1 had whipped in front of the car that had tried to police it, stopped, and the driver emerged leaving his door hanging open and proceeded to walk to the driver's door of car #2 and scream at the top of his lungs, gesticulating wildly. This effectively shuts down the two right hand lanes as drivers try to avoid the door to car #1 that is sticking out in their lane. I am watching all of this happening right in front of me, half waiting for a gun to go off and half looking for the candid cameras. Remember that scene in LA Story? Yeah. Not too far off.
So now I've reconsidered my clerkship lottery application again and am back to wanting to be in Lebanon/Corvallis where my biggest traffic concern will be passing a tractor or a combine. That's a commute WIN if you ask me.
In completely unrelated news, it is a well known fact that I am wholly enchanted by one Robert Downey, Jr. *fanning self* Le sigh... I have this elaborate plan with Casey and his rising star wife that when they can finally have their Official Celebrity Wedding, I will get seated next to Mr. RDJ. Casey said to me, "Stannard are you gonna need me to obtain any rohypnol for that evening?" to which I replied, "No, no, of course not! You get me in general proximity, I got it from there." He gave me a wary eye and asked, "Oh, really. It's all under control is it?" I nodded. How could he resist *this* anyway??
But that's at least a few years off. First Casey's wife has to finish becoming an A-lister, then she has to become BFFs with RDJ. By the way, this is a 100% foolproof plan.
In the meantime, my pal Lim found this beauty on 9gag.com. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do...It took me awhile to figure out what exactly I was looking at, but now that I know I'm a little creeped out.
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