The Denzel Phenomenon

This post has been on my list of things to do for some time, and I figured that since I'm down to the last few days of freedom that it's now or never. By this time next week, immersed as I will be in the onslaught of the internship year, I may well have lost my will to live, let alone blog.

For years social scientists has posited that symmetry is beauty to humans. Studies that blended faces showed that subjects counted the most symmetric faces to be the most attractive.

You don't have to look far to find supporting evidence. It is rare to find an asymmetric A-lister, either in face or in body. Rarer still is an asymmetric model.

Megan Fox--pretty danged symmetric in face and body...

Rock stars? Well, one only must look at Mick Jagger to understand that symmetry apparently need not apply--these guys ooze the sex appeal no matter how icky they look. A separate set of studies will be needed to understand this particular phenomenon.

Mick wtf??

OK actually Slash is pretty symmetric. Still grosses me out though.

GAH. Steven Tyler no thanks.

I take this a step further by suggesting that there are two types of beauty. The first is beauty that actually speaks to you on a visceral level. For me that would be the RDJ's of the world. I am not responsible for my own actions should I find myself in their presence. The second type of beauty, and which I posit for your consideration now, is what I have termed The Denzel Phenomenon, and I mean those individuals in whom I can appreciate and acknowledge objective beauty, but it's beauty nonetheless that leaves my soul empty and my interest at zero.

How did I name it thus? I chose an individual who is widely acknowledged to be attractive by women the world over. Someone in whom I can assess corporeal features, note how much symmetry he possesses, as well as his other characteristics that are would-be attractive (i.e., height, tone of voice, presence, etc.), acknowledge that they are all positive and yet know that these things are only strictly scientific. They mean nothing to me personally.

Young Denzel. Meh.

For instance, insofar as I find all those who fit the RDJ Profile to be intriguing, I conversely happen to find the, say, Brad Pitt Profiles to be not-intriguing. Similarly, it is my nature to be uncompelled by other races. With only two exceptions to date, I have not found myself in the least bit attracted to men of African-American, Indian, Asian, etc. descents. I have no specific reasons to cite for this, but it is empirically true. Wait, does this make me some kind of...cellular racist?? (FYI, just Googled "cellular racism" and found this blog)

This is the guy who played Dr. Suresh on "Heroes."
Symmetric. Olive-skinned. Accent. Good hair.
Do not care.

And I rejoice that my theory has become conversational, as last week I was driving around with colleague Almost-Dr. Casey, discussing the finer points of attraction. He commented that "Brad Pitt, now he's a looker."
Me: "Eh. Take it or leave it."
Him: "Whaaaa? Come on. Even I'd hit that."
Me: *shrug*
Him: "But he's a Denzel, though, right?"
Me: "Oh yeah. Totally."

Nope, I got nothin'. Totes a Denzel.