I'm a Real Doctor Now

Primed and ready for day 1 of residency.

No longer "Almost." Guess I need a new Blogger handle.

I am 2 weeks into residency, which has me assigned to the "surgery" department. I don't know if it's the feast or famine feature of hospital census, or if it's a feature of this particular department, but I have only participated in 3 or 4 surgeries. I'm busy all day, doing consults, caring for post-op patients, etc., but in terms of learning surgery? Yeah not really. The powers that be also decided that the surgical department is "too sensitive" to grant badge access to the residents, so any time I need in there I have to wait for someone to buzz me in. And I've had several occasions where I need in there after hours or on a holiday and of course no staff is around TO buzz me in. It miffs me.

But aside from such idiosyncrasies of the workplace, I'm doing all right. I really love my fellow interns. Not a single douche bag among us! Moreover, all patients have been accounted for, are alive and able bodied. I'm halfway through the dreaded month of July without killing or maiming someone by some sin of oversight or omission.

And what is with the doctors always wanting to work before dawn? What IS that? Why can't we have swing-shift medicine? Roll in at noonish...work 12-15 hours...I am much more amenable to that than this 5am business. If you are on my FB you've already heard my scheme for a clinic called "How 'Bout I Just Swing By Later" healthcare. It's gold. AND a recent medscape article suggests that I would have large demand, as many people don't want to take time off work to go to a doctor anyway. After-hours genius!

I also am already sick with some kind of wheezy, hacking tracheobronchitis. FTS.

But I am not quite out of med-student mode yet. That behavior which has been ground into me for years to always say "yes" to a request, regardless of what it is, when it happens or how long it will take. Case in point I volunteered for extra work yesterday so I could learn about lumbar pain. And as I heard myself saying yes to the request, my occipital brain was back there going, What is wrong with you, asshat? STOP TALKING. You ask when did this extra work happen? At 5am, of course, when else?

I gotta stop doing that shit.

And now I leave you with a classic northside Long Beach observation.

Sage wisdom in the patient parking lot...duly noted.